Should you always try and heal a family rift?

On the 6th September 1997 two brothers, one fifteen and the other twelve years old, walked slowly behind a coffin carrying their mother. The funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales was met by hundreds of members of the public who came out to show their support and send their love to a woman that they highly admired. One can only imagine the bond that presumably would have been made between Prince William and Prince Harry as a result of their mother's tragic death. From the outside it seemed they leaned on each other for support and were great friends as well as brothers. Now, things have changed and a rift has grown between them as adults. In an interview with Tom Bradby Harry confirmed the rift: "Inevitably stuff happens but look we're brothers, we'll always be brothers. We're certainly on different paths at the moment but I'll always be there for him as I know he'll always be there for me." Should Harry be isolating himself from someone he once held so dear?

Susanne Babbel argues in Psychology Today that: "When a relationship with a family member is not healthy - meaning it is emotionally, physically, or financially abusive and causing suffering - the victim has every right to stop interacting with that person." However as a member of the royal family does Prince Harry, who arguably has a duty to serve his country, have the same right to isolate himself from his family? The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are actively detaching themselves from the royal circle, presumably in an attempt to resolve the psychological suffering they have commented on experiencing by being part of the royal brigade. Via their Instagram page Harry and Meghan recently released a statement saying.

"After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as 'senior' members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages. This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity. We look forward to sharing the full details of this exciting next step in due course, as we continue to collaborate with Her Majesty The Queen, The Prince of Wales, The Duke of Cambridge and all relevant parties. Until then, please accept our deepest thanks for your continued support." - The Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Since beginning the relationship with the Prince Meghan Markle, the former actress from Los Angeles, has periodically received negative comments by the British press. One significant headline written about Meghan when she first started dating the prince was criticised for having racial overtones:

• Harry's girl is (almost) straight outta Compton: Gang scarred home of her mother revealed- so will he be dropping by for tea?" -Daily Mail, Ruth Styles

The implication of Meghan's family being part of a 'gang scarred' and therefore untrustworthy living area as the word 'scarred' laments on an idea of her roots being cemented in a permanent state of damage is further explored in the article. It is commented: "Plagued by crime and riddled with street gangs, the troubled Los Angeles neighbourhood that Doria Ragland calls home couldn't be more different to London's leafy Kensington." Meghan was immediately highlighted as being an abnormality to the royal lifestyle in news coverage like this. She is separated dramatically from the Prince's home life and the implied more acceptable way of living. He is even suggested to be in danger by being with her as he is placed in a world "plagued with crime." This hasn't been the only negative article made about Meghan:

• FROWN JEWELS The Queen bans Meghan Markle from wearing jewellery made famous by Diana - but Kate Middleton IS allowed- The Sun, Dan Wootton
• Its's time Meghan was taught a well known British phrase: 'Get over yourself, love!'-The Telegraph, Allison Pearson
• Royal feud: Why Meghan Markle was doomed to LOSE in battle with Kate-EXPRESS, Rebecca Perring

Whether Meghan has or has not made ‘our’ beloved Kate Middleton cry, demanded that civilians stop taking pictures of her at a tennis match or had numerous nannies quit under her leadership, does anyone really deserve to be continually belittled so publicly? When asked in an interview with Tom Bradby if it was fair to say that she was not doing ok and had been struggling, Meghan responded simply with a: "Yes." Although she may deserve sympathy it can also be argued that she has chosen to live a public lifestyle. With this comes the perks of having hundreds of pounds at her disposal but there are also negatives that come with it. Despite this, if Prince Harry sees that being a part of the 'senior royals' is in fact damaging to his wife's mental health, is it not right for him to create a potential rift in his family by abstaining from royal duties? Surely he should not try and heal the potential damage he will cause to his relationship with his family if he is ultimately trying to protect his wife? Further to his interview with Bradby Harry stated in relation to the press: "For me and my wife of course there are a lot of stuff that hurts, especially because the majority of it is untrue. I will not be bullied into playing a game that killed my Mum."

The idea that he is creating tension within his family is in response to reports that the royal family are "hurt" by Harry's bombshell Instagram announcement. Harry's brother, Prince William and father, Prince Charles, are said to be "incandescent with rage," as a result of Harry's statement. One would expect that the upset that Harry's Instagram statement has caused in the royal family might widen the rift further between him and William.

Ok, say we all agree that if Harry causes a rift within his family he should not try to heal it for his own sanity. There's another argument to be had about whether he has a right to do this as someone who's duty it is to serve their country. Does he have a right to cause tensions within his family when it then affects the public? As being part of the royal inner circle Harry and Meghan have been allowed money by the taxpayer to pay for things such as the 2.4 million pound renovation of their house of Frogmore Cottage. What do Harry and Meghan really mean by 'stepping back' as senior royals? How do they exactly plan to become 'financially independent"? At the moment they receive money from Prince Charles' income from the Duchy of Cornwall. Should Harry's father, who plays an active role in the royal network, continue to subsidise a son who plans on not pulling his weight? Should Harry avoid a rift with his family plainly to maintain financial stability? Meghan also said in her interview with Bradby that life is not just about "surviving" something but you've got to "thrive and be happy." Is Meghan and Harry's version of happiness having their cake and eating it though? It may be admirable to take control of your life by attempting to prohibit the invasion of it but then is it morally right to stop doing your job and still get paid for it? Money seems to be disposable for this couple as they plan to spend most of their time in North America despite only recently having the costly renovation done to their house. Is this ultimately a snub by a pair of brats who don't appreciate how lucky they are to have such wealth? It could be argued that they think they can step back from the limelight because money is no object to them. They plan to be 'financially independent' but in the meantime the public have to pay for them to be happy? Is this fair? Is this right? Ultimately do I care? No, not really. And yes I did use too many question marks.

Should you always try and heal a family rift? Well, Harry and Meghan clearly don't think so at the moment.